The Scrawl

March - Amanda

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 17:39:00 +0000

@Amanda_Lei

You can read the story here:

The Rising

March - Anonymous

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 17:37:00 +0000

A Personal Story
- Anonymous

T had always been a shy person. He wasn't good looking by any strech of the meaning which led to him being very self concious which led to him having very few friends growing up. The few friends he did had rarely ever saw him outside of school because he sheltered himself in video games and tried to keep to himself as much as possible. He was afraid of rejection. He was scared.

By the time T had reached senior year in high school he had gained but then lost all of his good friends. Due to a lack of anything else to do he spent most of his time in the library at school reading novels, again sheltering himself from everyone else. He secretly wished that one day his friends, those people he had spent so much time with over all those years, would walk through the library doors and they would pick up right where they left off and be a together again.

On the day of his math exam, the last exam of his first semester, T got to the school extra early to study a bit before they started. When he finished studying he went and waited by the doors to the old gym where the exam was to take place alone. Or so he thought.

He was standing there for about 2 minutes when one of his classmates had showed up and stood there with him, waiting for the doors to open. He snuck a few peeks at her and for the first time he realized how beautiful she was. He wondered how he could have went through a whole semester without noticing her good looks and ultimately decided it was because of how popular she was, he just never really paid much attention to her. He knew that someone like her would never be caught dead with someone like him.

"Hi", said a voice, "how is it going?".

At first he thought that it another group of people had shown up and started talking but quickly realized that the girl, we will call her D, was talking to him.

"Hi", he nervously responded forgetting to answer her question.

"How is it going?", she repeated.

"Good", he responded, more nervous than before.

"That is good. Do you know when the exam is starting?"

"Not for another 15 minutes"

"Oh. I got here faster than I thought! Do you want to talk for a while?"

At this point he didn't know what to say. He had never had a real conversation with a female outside of his close family/friends before.

He agreed and they ended up talking for a good 10 minutes before other people showed up and she said goodbye to go talk to her friends. The whole time he was wondering why she was talking to him. Why was D, one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen, talking to someone like him. Why didn't she just stand there and ignore him? Why didn't she go find some friends elsewhere while waiting for the exam to start?

Through his life T had learned to not to get attached to anyone. He knew that nobody would want to be with him and for 10 years he built a wall to protect himself from rejection. A wall that D had seemed to be able to tear down in 10 simple minutes.

While a 10 minute conversation doesn't seem like much, T felt like he knew D better than anyone by the time it ended. He felt like they shared a connection that he had never felt with anyone else before. He felt adoration. He had his first crush.

Through the rest of their senior year he had tried to think of a way to get closer to her but she was always with her popular friends and other than a few waves here and there they never had much interaction. He had talked to her on Facebook once and made plans to hang out sometime, something that took every bit of courage in him to do, but those quickly fell through. He had watched her go out with countless people only to have them break her heart and all he wanted to do was be there for her. His thought his feelings for her would never change.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I still have feelings for D to this day. She now has a job and a boyfriend who she just recently moved in and got a dog with. I still hope that someday we can meet up and just talk. Even though I don't feel the same way for her anymore, I still adore her. I want to thank her for that day before the exam. I want to thank her for tearing down my wall and showing me what it means to care for somebody and reminding me what it was like to actually feel close to someone. I had spent way too much time in that library and started to feel like nobody but my family cared about me and who knows where I would be today if she hadn't shown up.

I know most people will read this and won't understand. When you feel as alone as I did and someone like that comes along and makes you feel that way, there are no words to describe it. I should have known that she was just being nice to me and she didn't feel a connection but I am glad I didn't. My life has changed for the better and I will never forget her for that.

Thank you D. I owe you everything.

The 5th Scrawl is here

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 17:33:00 +0000

I'm still trying to keep up with The Scrawl as I know some of you like doing it every time, however with life and a new job I'm finding it hard.

So please forgive me when it's late, but I will continue doing it regardless!

Question

What is the best story you have/heard?

January 2012 - Amanda

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:25:00 +0000

Title: Things I Love

Submitted by: @Amanda_Lei

1. My eyes
2. My hair

January 2012 - @Jangasm

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:15:00 +0000

Title: My Entry For 'The Scrawl' January 2012
Submitted by: @Jangasm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pcfdjhTpCg&feature=youtu.be&a

January 2012 - Austin Griffith

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:06:00 +0000

Title: Scrawl #4
Submitted by: @austing909

[insert penis joke here]
I'd have to say the one thing I love most about my self is my ability to be professional. At my age few people know how to be professional and I love the fact that I know how to.

January 2012 - @LawlShane

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:41:00 +0000

Title: LawlScrawl #2

Submitted by: @LawlShane

Check out this audio clip by LawlShane here:

http://k004.kiwi6.com/hotlink/x1fa19shx8/lawlscrawl.m4a

January 2012 - Arthur Marris

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:39:00 +0000

Title: Scrawl 4 by Arthur

Submitted by: Arthur Marris

@arthurmarris

Hey to whoever decided to read this Scrawl entry; thanks! My name is Arthur Marris and I’m a game developer from Toronto. I usually do videos for these type of submissions, but with work piling up this will have to do. Something I love about myself (which can relate to a lot of people) is the dork/geek side to my personality. That’s very general to statement to make, so I’ll sorta break it down further. I really enjoy integrating movies, games, music, and overall internet meme’s within my daily social interactions with peers. Whether I’m trolling someone, or playing off a famous line for a similar situation, I enjoy doing it because they understand what it means (usually), and it makes me feel a bit more connected with those individuals. Sometimes I even make those people laugh, and that’s something I like to do very much.

One thing I find particularly interesting & unique about that side of my personality is when it’s brought up in situations that feature people who don’t understand them. The awkward silences amuse me to the point that I do it way too often. It’s completely normal to have those silences by the way, just wanted to throw that out there. You just feel that connection grow stronger with those like minded people. Plus I think Final Fantasy X-II is the best Final Fantasy ever. Haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

Regards,

Arthur

January 2012 - Anonymous

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:37:00 +0000

Title: Tell Me Something You Love About Yourself

Submitted by: Anonymous

I admit that there isn't much I can actually say that I love about myself. I am pale white, really skinny, my teeth aren't straight and sometimes I feel like I got hit in the face with the ugly stick repeatedly. I am shy, I can't keep conversation going, I can't start conversation and I am overall socially awkward. I have no money, I am unemployed and I don't know where I am going with my life. These are all things I hate about myself, but even all of them together doesn't negate the amount of things I love about myself.

One of the things I am always told by people is how kind I am. I am not trying to make myself sound good, but I really am one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. I am the kind of guy who will drop everything, no matter what I am doing, if a friend needs me and go help. I am the kind of guy who will make myself look like a complete idiot just to make somebody else feel better. I am the kind of guy who cares. I am also very creative. I will look at something while walking down the street and make up a story about how it got there in my head. I can read a book and create my own backstorys for characters who the author never gave one. I can turn one word into a novel if I really wanted to. Although these, and many other things about myself, are awesome, they aren't what I really love about myself.

What I really love about myself if that no matter how much ridicule and pain people put me through, no matter how much people make fun of me, no matter how much people stare at me because of my looks, no matter how many people shun me because I am different, I can look at them and I can smile and tell them to have a nice day. I can ignore them and I can feel better about myself than they do about themselves. I can lead a better life than they will and I can be more happy than they ever will be. If ever asked how I am so happy despite all of my flaws I can answer with three words - I am me.

January 2012 - The 4th Scrawl Results

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:36:00 +0000

Hi everyone!

I'm basically on time this month to update the entries!

This month the Scrawl Question was: Tell me something you love about yourself

I've been notified of late entries so I will update this page as they come in. So far the entrants include:

The 4th Scrawl is here!

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:52:00 +0000

Thanks for dealing with my absence!

You can find the 3rd Scrawl entries here: http://www.scrawlexperiment.com/2012/01/december-2011-3rd-scrawl-results.html

January 2012, in the spirit of this new year, I have picked a much easier (and happier) topic to answer.

Question

Tell me something you love about yourself

December 2011 - Adam DW

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:45:00 +0000

Adam DW

Title: Metro

There was a time I had lost all faith in humanity, and believed our species as a whole to be beyond redemption. Arrested Development was cancelled, people were suffering in wars and poverty, and my sense of scale between tragedies was entirely out of whack.

But then something happened that changed everything. I was at the local Dominion, thinking about how soul crushing it was they had changed the name to Metro, when I saw a man juggling pumpkins right in front of the deli counter between two displays of limes. I stopped, cocked my head slightly to the side and with hands on hips I watched this modern day jester and thought how nice it was that the store would hire some seasonal entertainment for the kids.

As a smile begins to cross my face a stock clerk, eyes ablaze with fury, leaps over a basket of limes and tackles the juggler, knocking the pumpkins out of the air on his way down. One of the larger pumpkins flies five feet into the air and lands in the buggie of a demure middle aged woman, sending her cart careening into a table of pies. Pumpkin filling, whipped cream, and pie crust covered the floor like rice at a wedding.

Exclaiming something I won't soon repeat the woman stormed out of the store, her cart forgotten. The stock clerk meanwhile was firmly planting a knee into the juggler's kidneys, again and again with a rhythmic thud, something you could set your watch to. As I walked towards them I noticed something, and stepping over the juggler's outstretched hand I reached out with my own and grabbed what I knew I needed.

I walked out into the parking lot holding six perfect, delicious bagels in my hands and I knew that everything was going to be all right, everything was going to be good for people everywhere, and for me.

December 2011 - @NicholasNgAFook

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:44:00 +0000

@NicholasNgAFook

Title: Faithless Humanity

December 2011 - @AustinG909

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:42:00 +0000

Restoring Faith in a Race

I'm not a racist - let me make that completely clear. I have white friends I have black friends I have Asian friends I have Indian friends, but I live near a very ghetto area.
There is a group of African Americans at my bus stop (high school) who constantly litter, throw trash around, cuss at each other, I stay away from them. They don't bother me and i don't bother them.

One day, as I'm standing at the bus stop, the group is on the other side of the street under a umbrella (it's raining.)

I can hear their conversation but pay no attention.

A few minutes later an old woman walks by paying no attention to them. One of the young black men walks over to her, hugs her, says "I love you mom" loud enough for everyone to hear, then walks away. Then he turns to his friends and says "Man I love my mom."

This gave me some faith in what they acted like. They weren't all bad, they hearts.

December 2011 - Anonymous

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:41:00 +0000

Title: Renewal in Faith.

The sound of the snow crunched beneath my feet, the air was crisp and bit harshly at my face. I was on a "walk of shame" and quite hung-over, possibly still tipsy from the night before. The sun was just starting to peek up into the cloud covered sky, casting hues of pink and lavender over the sleeping city.

I kept trying to remember where I parked or how I ended up in this particular area of the downtown core. Did I drive here last night? Where the fuck is my car? I kept repeating to myself. I could remember driving to to the pub and parking in that spot that no one knows about behind the buildings, but that was still a good 10 or 15 blocks from where I found myself now. I made the logical assumption that I wouldn't have driven and my car would be exactly where I last remembered parking it. So I headed in that direction.

As I navigated down the sidewalk in a dazed and clumsy meander, partly from the overspill of trampled snow and partly from my less then alert state, I tried to recall the events that had unfolded. Really, I only had a blur of the night before, the shots were plentiful, the bar was packed and I was beyond fucked up.

I had no idea who the two girls I woke up with were, all of our limbs were entangled and it was a challenging ménage to slip out of without waking them, I did manage to get out from in between and partially under the blonde, and there was only a single mumble followed by a soft snore from the brunette.

It took a few minutes to locate my clothes which were scattered around the bedroom and living room and I was polite enough to dispose of the used condoms and wrappers. I dressed and slipped out the door, pulling it closed behind me with a click. Tragic really, they were both super cute, but obviously too young and still too wild for any type of continued relations.

Walking over cold snow covered sidewalks in the sub-zero temperatures of late February is never a good time, being as hung-over as I was only made it that much worse and the partial uncertainty of where my car was had put me in a mostly irritated mood, but there were flashes of drunken passion and soft, supple flesh that kept my mind from focusing on the walk ahead of me and the possibility that my car wouldn't be there.

As I approached the bar district I couldn't help but feel for the homeless man asleep on the sidewalk, he was bundled in what appeared to be several good layers and was snoring loudly so I knew he was alive, but the thought of frostbite crossed my mind. It had to be -10 or colder and I couldn't fathom not taking refuge in a shelter. About twenty steps after the homeless man I heard a van pull up behind me and the sliding door open with a thump.

I turned and looked back to see a heavy set, scruffy man climb out of the back of the van and kick the foot of the sleeping homeless man. I stopped and watched. Perplexed and concerned for the safety of this homeless person who was waking up and was obviously disoriented. I had just taken my first step back towards them when the scruffy man reached into the van and produced a thermos and bowl of steaming soup or stew. He held them both out for the homeless man who sat up and took them with a toothless smile and a nod.

The scruffy man quickly jumped back into the van and yelled out the window at the homeless man as the van drove off... "Stop sleeping in the cold!!!!".

This was late Feb of 2011 and I have since seen this same homeless man riding around the city on his bicycle. I have no doubt that the reason he is even alive is because of the care of the scruffy man to deliver warm liquids throughout the bitter cold of the winter, and THAT renewed my faith in humanity.

December 2011 - Rox-Anne Henderson

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:40:00 +0000

Rox-Anne Henderson - @cupcakebaker11

My faith in humanity was restored last night, Nov 22. I know it was for my son as well.

Our online petition to ban the sale of shark fin in Kitchener got 64 signatures in less than 24 hours. Close friends retweeted and shared my Facebook link with the link to the petition.

While it is totally out of my element to champion a cause, I am pleasantly surprised to find my family stand behind me and supporting me. They feel this is a cause worth fighting for. That totally floored me. I thought I was about to be cast as the crazy cat lady in my family now. My friends are there as well. It's times like this when you see who your real friends are. All I asked was for a signature and to help spread the word. A few friends have and I am surprised by the friends who did not.

I have managed to meet some great people from all over the world doing this. Sometimes, you really can depend on the kindness of strangers.

When this question was posted, I was really thinking hard about it and worried I wouldn’t have anything to add. The lesson I have learned is when you need help, there is always someone there. Whether they are your family, friends or complete strangers from the other side of the world. The trick to finding these people, is to ask for help and give them the opportunity to help you.

December 2011 - The 3rd Scrawl Results

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:39:00 +0000

This time around we had 5 entries with the question:

When was the last time someone/something renewed your faith in humanity? What was it?

Participants
Roxanne Henderson
Anonymous
@AustinG909

@NicholasNgAFook

Adam DW

The 3rd Scrawl is Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:27:00 +0000

The November 2011 Scrawl is here!

The question is:

When was the last time someone/something renewed your faith in humanity? What was it?

Don't forget to fill out the Filler and submit through our Contact Us page or through our e-mail.

Deadline is Wednesday November 30th

October 2011 - Amanda

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 02:47:00 +0000

The Scrawl answer Pt. 1 and 2

pt. 1

Pt. 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjuMfDI3c4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnG2EGwRHOo

October 2011 - Timothy Garris

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:51:00 +0000

If I could Turn Back Time

Timothy Garris

http://www.timothygarris.com/2011/09/30/if-i-could-tuuuuurn-back-tiiiiiiiiiime/

October 2011 - Lawlshane

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:50:00 +0000

Lawl Scrawl

@lawlshane

http://www.twitvid.com/ERKG8

October 2011 - Anonymous #3

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:49:00 +0000

Changing Friends

Anonymous 3

I have been thinking about this for nearly two years now. I have been thinking about my old friends and the good times we had together, I have been thinking about what I could have done to prevent those friends who I had good times with from becoming who they are today. I have been trying to figure out if it is my fault that they are who they are now, if I am the reason that they do what they do, if I am the reason why we are no longer the friends that we used to be. Every time I sign on Facebook, every time I see one of them, every time I hear their names, I am faced with these questions.

It all started in grade 5. I am a VERY shy and socially awkward person and being relatively new to the school didn’t help with the fact that I really had no friends. There were a few of those people who I would hang out with from time to time and eat lunch with but I didn’t have any real friends. One fateful afternoon, Mrs. S thought it was a great idea to partner me with somebody who I had never talked to before, knowing that I was a very shy person. Little did I know that this person, let’s call him Dairy, would become my best friend for the next four years.

At first we were just science partners but our friendship grew greater each and every day we were forced to partner up together. By the end of the school year I and Dairy were best friends and we hung out every day at school and lots of days after school. Summer eventually came and we never saw much of each other. I had gone on vacation for the first half of summer and he went during the second half so there was really no time to hang out until the next year of school started, our first year of middle school.

As I entered my classroom for grade6, I was deeply saddened by the fact that Dairy and I were not in the same class. Days had past and I barely saw Dairy at school and wondered if he still wanted to be my friend or if he found new ones. Months went by and I was sure that Dairy had moved on and no longer wanted me to be anything other than that kid you say hi to every time you pass them in the hallway. For the last few months of school I had found a new friend, Smurf, who was cool but our friendship had never been as great as that of Dairy and I.

A whole year had passed without me hanging out with Dairy and we were now in grade 7. I was in the same class as Smurf again but Dairy was nowhere to be seen. I had hoped all summer that we would be in the same classroom so that maybe our friendship could be like it was before. This year was almost the same as last year but part way through Smurf disappeared (to this day I still do not know what happened to him) and I spent all my lunch hours hanging out with people I didn’t really see as friends, mostly because they had Gameboy Advances and would let me play Pokémon Ruby with them. On the day before grade 7 ended I was handed a sheet that I could put a name on and that one person would have a high chance of being in the same class as me next year. I quickly scribbled down Dairy’s name and prayed with all my heart that we would be matched in the same class next year.

All summer I kept thinking of all the fun times that Dairy and I had. I was totally excited when Dairy invited me to his birthday party that summer but we never saw each other anymore that summer. I had never had a friendship as great as that before and didn’t think I could make it through another year of school without a great friend by my side. I can remember one particular night during the summer really well – the night before Dairy and I would enter grade 8. I remember this night so well because it was the first night that I had ever stayed up all night. I was so worried that I would have to go through another school year alone that I felt sick and even cried through some of the night.

The day had finally arrived and I was all packed up and ready to read who’s class I was in that year. I walked up to the list, found my teacher and quietly walked into the classroom and sat down in the seat closest to the door. Why the seat closest to the door you may ask. I picked that particular seat so that when Dairy entered the classroom, which I was sure he would, he would see me immediately and sit beside me. 7painful minutes later, the bell rang and the first day of classes started. I didn’t pay attention to the teacher at all that class because I was too busy thinking about the long year I had ahead of me because I was too shy to walk up to Dairy and his new friends and ask if I could hang out with them. The bell signifying that class was over rang and I quietly walked to my bus and went home and slept.

When I got to school the next day I spotted Dairy standing at the entrance to the school and as I got closer he approached me. He came to tell me that my class had been split and I had the chance to choose what class I was moved to and he wanted me to choose his class. I was so excited that I ran as fast as I could to my old class, grabbed my desk and carried it all the way across the school and into his classroom and placed it down beside his. This was the happiest I had been in almost two years and almost happier than I have ever been before. Me and Dairy hung out together every day after that and soon enough, a foreign student who just moved into our town who would become the third person in our group for the next two years had arrived.

I can clearly remember the day that my second best friend had first entered our classroom. The friend, we will just call him Sizzle, was from England, he was black and he was from a rich family so he stuck out like a sore thumb in a school of all white students. After anew days of him sitting by himself, me and Dairy decided we would like to become friends with him and we stuck to it for what seemed like an eternity.

Grade 9 and half of grade 10 (our first two years of High school) past and our friendship was at its best. We hung out every day, we hung out every weekend, and we hung out all the time. One day on the way to our hangout spot at lunch I spotted Sizzle walking toward me with a group of 8 girls who were apparently friends of his. I was not too happy when I was told that they would be hanging out with us that lunch hour, mostly because I was so shy, self-conscious and socially awkward, but decided that I would take it for the team. The next day was the same story; they were just hanging out with us this lunch hour and nothing more. Slowly but surely, over the course of half a year, I had essentially been replaced. I was alone. I had been abandoned by the only two people who I had ever trusted and had a serious friendship with. Grade 11 and12 past and we were reunited once in a while and spent a weekend or so together and I even sat beside Dairy in Law 12 for 5 months but we never went back to how we were. I spent the last two years of high school in the library reading, hoping that the books would take me away and I wouldn’t have to deal with highschool anymore. I was devastated.

We were a trio. We were a squad. We were a group 3 who never abandoned each other and I thought that it would last forever. I honestly have no words to describe how I felt through grade 11 and 12. I had some other normal friends but I just never fit into any of their groups of friends. I was so alone that I skipped Prom, Grad and every school dance that was supposed to be the highlight of my whole 12 years spent at school.

We finally get to the main part of the story.

When Dairy, Sizzle and I were hanging out we never did anything wrong. We might have pulled a prank now and then but we were like perfect children. As I was getting pushed away and even more around the end of grade 12 I felt like they were doing things that they shouldn’t be doing. They were going to parties and drinking, they were having SEXIN HIGHSCHOOL and they were doing things that I could never do.

We went from being such great friends to just acquaintances in the span of two years. The brick wall that was our friendship had been reduced to rubble.

I always think to myself, would still be the friends we were before if I weren’t so shy? Maybe I should have abandoned my family and all my morals and followed the path that they had. Maybe if I had just had the courage to be around people that I didn’t know on a daily basis they would still be my friends and they wouldn’t be doing the things that they are now. Sizzle, like me, comes from a family of Christians. He has changed so much in two years that he is just like any other drinking, swearing teenager out there. The respectful friends I once knew were nothing more than common teenagers.

I am a Christian, I have morals that are very different than most people my age and I still have the respect I was taught to have when I was a little child. Maybe I am just being too harsh and unrealistic in my dreams that my friends would still be like me, my dreams that would be able to stop my friends from being pulled in by all the things of this world.

That is my story. I now have tons of friendships, but none of them as good as I once had. Many of the friendships I have now are people from across the country that I met on Twitter and they awesome of the best friends I have ever had. Would I go back and change how my friendships ended up? No. It was meant to be this way and I have new friends that I don’t want to lose. I still wish that things turned out differently but not at the expense of losing what I have now. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I would like to close by saying this: no matter how far away my friendships with Dairy and Sizzle have strayed since grade 10 and how different they are now, if it came down to it I would jump in front of a bullet to save either one of them. They still mean as much to me as they did 4 years ago and nothing will ever change that.

October 2011 - Anonymous #2

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:46:00 +0000

Going Back

Anonymous

The sound of glass cups clanging together in celebration filled his ears.
His first thought, it worked.

He opened his eyes, he was staring at a solid brick wall that encased him from all angles, to his amazement, he was returned to the pub, that fateful pub, the place that changed his life on this very night that long time ago.
Once he had finally accepted that what he was seeing was in fact, real, he quickly glanced at his watch. It read 8:48 pm.

He remembered that she arrived at 9:01 that night; he didn’t have a lot of time.
He quickly got up out of his seat, remembering that it was that chair he was sitting in when she would arrive, when she walked straight to him, smiling the most beautiful smile whilst staring at him, indicating all of the best intentions, that he was the reason that made her this way.
He turned away from the chair and began walking towards the door, as he walked towards the exit, he was asked by many of his friends the many questions he so wished to avoid.
"Where are you going? The show is about to start!"
"Aren't you supposed to be meeting a date tonight?"
He didn't acknowledge any of these questions nor the people asking them, all he could focus on was getting through that door, getting the freedom he had wished for on so many nights.
He made it to the door, grabbed the handle, and before he could push the door open, before he could have what he wanted more than anything in the world, a flood of thoughts and memories began to rush through his head.
It was all of the bad, all of the reasons why he wanted to return to this night more than any, so he could avoid the girl he was supposed to meet, the girl who gave him so much over the course of their relationship, the girl who felt immense feelings for him, the girl he loved so much.

He thought of everything that she did to him, the lies, the cheating, the pain she caused him without even trying.
He thought of the things that would happen long after they ended their relationship, her friends mentioning her to him and telling him nasty things about her past behaviour and her behaviour while he and she were "together" as they so greatly put it.

He was staring at the door handle, his hands were trembling again, and he hated thinking about her in this negative light, and worse, thinking that all of it could be true. He took a deep breath and realized that he was making the right decision, to completely obliterate her from his existence, to remove all history of this girl he cared for so much.

As he pushed the door open, he then began thinking of her smile, that he would miss seeing that which made him feel like nothing ever before. He crossed the street and checked his watch, 9:00 pm.
He began walking towards his car; he remembered that on that night long ago that she was right beside him when he was walking towards his vehicle after the concert. He remembered that that night was one of the best nights of his life, they would stay up until sunrise, talking, laughing and establishing that they had great feelings for one another. This was nothing he had ever done before in his life with a woman so gorgeous and kind.
He remembered that their first kiss was that night.

His feet got heavier as he walked; the good memories of his failed relationship were coming back to him. But what hurt him the most was that even though they created so many memories together, it would never happen again. It was time to move on, he was given a golden opportunity to go back and avoid all it happening altogether, and he took it.

He was making the right decision; he constantly reminded himself that he is worth more than what she gave him and how she treated him in the end. Yes he loved her so much, yes he wanted to be with her, but he knew that even if he had stayed in his chair, that the bond between him and her would eventually be broken, in the same way, or by another.

His feet paused, he was standing on a sidewalk, far enough away from the pub to not be seen, but close enough to see the door he recently passed through.
9:01 pm.

The girl he had on his mind constantly since they met turned the corner and was walking towards the pub. As she walked, he could tell that she was incredibly happy, he was the first guy in a long time who had shown her the respect she deserved and made her feel so amazing when she thought of him.

He watched her hair as it swayed from side to side as she approached the pub, her eyes as they tried so hard to see him patiently waiting there for her but knowing there was no way of seeing him just yet.
He turned away and began walking again, not wanting to see her when she would realize he wasn’t there.
She made it to the door, pushed it open and walked into the pub.

After a few seconds of looking around, her smile turned to disappointment, the man she already cared for and had feelings for was not there, everything she wanted, gone.

He knew that he would have to live the rest of his life with this decision lurking within, that deep within the recesses of his mind, would be an entire relationship that used to be, but was undone.
He was gone, and gone for good.

October 2011 - Arthurmarris

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:44:00 +0000

The Video

@arthurmarris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avs8bLYoaq0

October 2011 - John Cornell

noreply@blogger.com (Amanda) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:42:00 +0000

Untitled

John Cornell

I think if I went back I would do many things differently, but not necessarily because I am unsatisfied with the way they turned out. Yes of course I would go back to that day in high school where I left my wallet in the library...the wallet that contained my first, most intimate, most important and meaningful note I had received from the first person I think I ever truly fell in love with. I think we all long to go back to those negative moments we remember in life and either turn them into a positive one, or simply make it so that moment never existed. I am more intrigued, however, by the outcome of different possibilities...not just big decisions like whether I should take the blue pill or the red pill. Smaller, more subtle changes like whether or not your personal attendance of a hockey would at all affect the outcome. On the surface that question is obviously pretty silly. You; one person, could never have an effect as far reaching as changing the outcome of a sports game. Still what effect, if any, would it have? On anything? If you never went maybe someone else in the row behind you would have taken your seats? Caught a hockey puck? A baseball? A bridal bouquet? These questions often times cause me to feel insignificant in the eyes of the world. What effect do I have on anything? But sometimes...sometimes I toy with the idea that we are all connected. All of our decisions affect something and someone in more ways than we may even imagine possible.

So if I could go back, would I still do it?

Yes, I'd do it. Then I'd go back and not do it. Then I'd go back and do it differently.

Just to see what happens.